[pct-l] Re: success

[Rebecca Williams <rebecca_pct@usa.net>]

"But for a thruhiker, the cost - both emotional and financial - can be
enormous."

"--- say you've totally disrupted your life in preparation for the adventure
of a lifetime - then you find out that it isn't what you thought it would be."

"So you have the choice, do I make finishing the trail the priority in my life
again, putting much of the rest of my life on hold, or do I give up the dream
I have treasured for so long?
What will it mean to give up the dream?  Not finishing a thruhike is
nothing like having a bad weekend trip -  the cost (for some people at least)
can be so much higher."

Ginny,

I couldn't help but notice ... that what you seem to be pointing out is 
all about attitude. You are correct, it is a choice ... you choose
whether to give up the dream ... or as you say ... disrupt you life again.
And who knows perhaps if you change your thinking ... things will change.
Who's to say you can't have your cake & eat it too. Why see it as
"putting the rest of my life on hold"?

I don't see it that way ... I don't see what I'm doing right now as
"disrupting my life". I see what I'm doing right now as a part of my life.
I am planning a thru hike, a partial hike, a whatever hike. I plan to put 
stuff in my bag & go. And yes, leave a job, a life, a wonderful happy life,
make a zillion arrangements for mail, rent, a dog, bills etc. etc. Bascially
all the stuff many of us are planning for. And I'm very very nervous.

I don't really want to tell anyone what I "plan" to do
because I don't want to put the idea in people's heads 
that I'm going to walk from mexico to canada,
and then not do it. ... But what do you tell people?
I'm telling people that I'm going for a walk ... and I might
walk from Mexico to Canada ... but I might just wander around for 
a couple of months & end up wherever I end up. Then if I make it to
the border or not, that should be something I care about ... but not
something I worry about other people caring about.

So, I keep reminding myself that what I need to do is exactly what a 
wkend backpaker can also do. I need to live in the now. That's my goal.
And I need to listen to me. I find it very ironic that when I made
the decision to hike the PCT ... I had no expectations. I thought ...
cool .. I'll go try that. It won't matter how far or long I go for 
I'll just go try that. But once you tell people that you are going to 
do something, you've now given others expections for you to live up to.
There should be no difference between a wkend back packer & me ... if we are
both the type of people who can live "now". (Ok, I'm maybe they'll
carry more crap than me or whatever ... but the basic mentallity CAN be the
same. Maybe we don't run into enough people that live "now"?)

What I'm really trying to say is  ... we shouldn't make a big deal out
of stuff. When you say "can be" in the first quote ... keep in mind this is
something you/me/we have a very large amount of control over. We may or may
not be able to control whether or not we have to stop hiking ... but we do
have the ability to control much of our reaction & feeling about that. If we
choose to make a big deal out of it ... it will be. If we choose to react in a
different way ... it does not have to be an "enormous loss".

Also ... "then you find out that it isn't what you thought it would be"
Then you have found out something really wonderful. Then you have learned 
something. And it's your choice to see that you've learned something ..
or to choose to see it in a much more negative way. The hard part is knowing &
accepting ... that it is *OK* to find out that that's not what you want. And
it's much easier to do that if you know that people you want acceptance from
also feel that way. Unfortunately, that might not be the case. That's why it's
SO important to listen to yourself & to let yourself know that whatever you
decide is ok. You are allowed to keep hiking, stop hiking, or whatever you
choose. Furthermore, NONE of that makes you a faliure or a sucess. What makes
you a failure or a sucess is what you think & feel about yourself! And what
makes something you do a failure or sucess is how you look at it, how you
percieve it ... it's all ATTITUDE.

"Not finishing a thruhike is nothing like having a bad weekend trip -  the
cost (for some people at least) can be so much higher."
Ginny, for me, it's comments like this one, that make it a bigger deal to
stop/quit/change your mind about a thru hike. Comments like this
remind me that I *should* do a certain thing or that I *should* feel a
certain way. It makes it apparent that this is an expectation others will have
of me or that I *should* have for myself.

I guess we all need to be reminded every once in a while that its *OK* to
change your mind. It's *OK* and good to have new, different wants & desires.
If I make it to Canada I want it to be beacuse I really wanted to get there &
I was having a great time. Not because I'm fulfilling some obligation .. to
what I think I have to do or to what others think I have to do.

I thought the "Thruhiking - What If ......?" post was maginificent! It
reminded me of some very very important things.

Ginny, I hope you know that you can do whatever you decide you want to do.
And figureing out what you really want can be is the biggest part of 
the journey.

Rebecca Williams
rebecca_pct@usa.net

____________________________________________________________________
Get free e-mail and a permanent address at http://www.amexmail.com/?A=1
* From the Pacific Crest Trail Email List |  http://www.backcountry.net   *

==============================================================================