[pct-l] Waiting to Decide...

[whitethunder10 at hotmail.com (Joseph Niemiec)]

I have answered in thorough, 1 sentence zingers, after each paragraph.


>
>I find myself in an interesting position.  I'm looking for work and
>have interviewed at one university, and have a couple non-academic
>applications out here in Wyoming.  I have known for three years that
>I didn't have enough publications to get tenure here at the
>University of Wyoming.  IN the next couple weeks I'll know if one of
>the three jobs want me, and then, decide if I want t hem!

-----I usually deicide I don"t want them.  It is why I'm still in school at 
the ripe old age of 27 (bachelors degree canidate)

>The worst case scenario is that I head out in the middle of June to
>hike SOBO on the PCT or CDT.  The deepest part of me, the part that
>is fully cognizant and feelingly aware that I am going to die, is
>waiting for the jobs to fall through and to discover at the end of
>April I have six weeks to finish the house remodel, store my stuff,
>rent the house, pack and plan the trip, and head out on June 15.

----True you will die.  So do stuff first.  You are already a wise school 
prof.  Time for a new thing.  Plenty of time to cultivate the mind after 
your body stops working.

>I love saying this is the worst case scenario.  My friends and
>family don't understand how at 52 years old I can plan a year off.
>I should be fearful and settle for the lowest common denominator,
>which isn't really anywhere close to being on the table anyway.  I
>feel so priviliged to be able to say the worst case is a year off
>and a five month hike...

----Other people get themsleves in their own situations.  You have gotten 
yourself in your situation.  Just time to use that situation.  Excellent 
situation by the way.

>So I couch my innermost hopes as the worst case.  I say this knowing
>I would leap at two of the three jobs - dream type jobs.  This
>doesn't even cover the very real possibility of doing consulting.

-----If they don't want a wise school prof who has walked his ass off, I 
don't know what they want.

>But I mark my life by how long I can take the intense aloneness of
>hiking for days on end.  In 1971 I lasted about five days.  In 1976
>I lasted for two weeks.  In 1994 I lasted for 35 days.  I've lasted
>for numerous 7 to 10 day trips since then.

---True if by the time you get done with the hike you are talking to 
yourself, well, the dream job folks might not like that.  But you may know 
something that the rest of them who aren't talking to themselves don't.  
That's probably why you'll be talking to yourself.

>I'm curious to see how long I could remain centered enough to hike
>alone in 2005.  The thought is frightening to be honest.  I remember
>with seared clarity what it felt like to be alone for 35 days.
>There are no rules.  This is easy to say - there are no rules - but
>it is hard to live.  I find it hard to be present in my own life
>with self-consciousness and purpose.  It is so easy to go from one
>busyness to the next.  This is larger than thru-hiking of course.
>But the kind of depression I find waiting to grab me when I relax in
>front of the tv or in a best-seller type novel is always framed by
>the larger sense I could be doing something more engaged and hence
>meaningful.

----The best part about the trail is that you hike so much you do your 
thinking while you hike - enjoy evey night of sleep.  You will also question 
the meaningfulness of the trail many times while you are hiking it. But the 
PCT, from my experience, isn;t that lonely.  If you get lonely, just camp 
out on the trail for a couple days (or less) and another hiker will be 
there. I went alone too but found many great friendships out there.  2nd 
family kinda stuff...

>
>Work is meaningful, and hiking alone is the hardest of work.  It
>hurts more than anything except death of a loved one...  The kind of
>work being alone for months on end presents makes my spirit quail in
>my fearful life.  I am curious in my challenged being to see what
>will come.  I always come away from a solo hike longer than a couple
>weeks a changed person.  I'm so damned stable now, I wonder what
>will happen?

----You'll get something out there man.  I have to say the coolest part 
about a long hike...- having fond memories of earlier sections while you are 
still out there.

>Jeff Olson
>Laramie WY
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