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[pct-l] Regarding some questions
And to quote Colin Fletcher, "Man's greatest hurdle is the girdle."
On Thu, 13 Jun 2002 16:40:04 -0700, you wrote:
>
>1. When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your
>picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
>
>2. Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his
>favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
>
>3. Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking
>them over an open fire.
>
>4. When smoking a fish, never inhale.
>
>5. A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm.
>A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks
>between your toes.
>
>6. You'll never be awakened by the call of a loon if you have an
>unlisted number.
>
>7. The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain
>ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.
>
>8. Acupuncture was invented by a camper who found a porcupine
>in his sleeping bag.
>
>9. While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the
>Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade
>functions as a tiny canoe paddle.
>
>10. Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable
>campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough,
>and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to
>the wilderness experience.
>
>11. Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning:
>Remove lint from navel before applying the match.
>
>12. You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows
>on the north side of your compass.
>
>13. You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by
>climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.
>
>14. The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat,
>should never be confused with a gnu paddle, a similar device used
>by Tibetan veterinarians.
>
>15. When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you
>something to wipe your nose on.
>
>16. You can compress the diameter of your rolled-up sleeping bag
>by running over it with your car.
>
>17. Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping.
>Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other
>ear, do not go into the woods alone.
>
>18. A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
>
>19. A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent
>side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an
>excellent hockey puck.
>
>20. You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food,
>then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.
>
>21. In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by
>shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic
>waistband of your underwear.
>
>22. The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes
>excellent kindling.
>
>23. A large carp can be used for a pillow.
>
>24. Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel
>to be worn camping. Buy only those that read "Beat on a rock in
>stream".
>
>25. The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations.
>The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the
>eagle.
>
>26. It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding
>mountain road behind a large motor home.
>
>27. Effective January 1, 1997, you will actually have to enlist in the
>Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.
>
>28. Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly
>country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
>
>29. A great deal of hostility can be released by using newspaper
>photos of politicians for toilet paper.
>
>30. In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used
>to strangle a snoring tent mate.
>
>By Bruce Cochran, Sept. 1996 Backpacker Magazine
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