[pct-l] social interaction / dealing with disagreeable people...

[Kevin Cook]

Well said Tom :)
Too bad there isn't more of this on the internet. I'll try to remember and
do better as well. ;)

On Mon, Jan 10, 2011 at 1:06 AM, Tom Hudson <vertigelt at gmail.com> wrote:

> I think the seeming anonymity of the Internet, combined with the lack of
> immediacy, allows for folks to be far more outspoken and confrontational
> than they would ever be in real life.  You know the cliché about waiting
> overnight to send that inflammatory email in response to a work colleague
> (or moreso to a distribution list)... It's because people, when their
> fingers meet with the keyboard, find themselves suddenly able to express
> all
> the things they wish they were ballsy or clever enough to say if they were
> ever in conflict with someone in person.  As you stew over the most recent
> slight, the wittiest, grittiest comeback is right at your fingertips.
>
> Folks don't do that in real person (mostly) because folks, in public, want
> to be liked, want to be popular.  Dominating is not as important as being
> included.  Online, when separated by several minutes or hours, and hundreds
> of miles, it'snot about being included.  The best way to win friends is by
> winning the apparent competition.  In real life, on the trail, it's a
> discovery of self that is only enriched by sharing it with others.  I think
> the spirit of the trail is that of exeberant celebration and sometimes
> painful hope.  The spirit of the Internet seems to have always been
> contrariness.
>
> I fall victim to it as much as the next guy/gal.  Instead of saying,
> "C'mon,
> mate.  It doesn't have to be like that," and then extending a hand, it's
> easier to say that the other person, in public and in front of everyone's
> mutual peers, is behaving inapprioriately.  Even if politely stated, it's
> not always the best etiquette.  Olive branches seem to be a rare commodity
> in cyberspace.
>
> So, to anyone *I* might have offended in such a way, I'll state now: sorry
> 'bout that.  I get kinda riled up when it seems my personal honor is on the
> line.  But there's no need.  Doesn't matter if it's justified.  There are
> better paths. They're just harder to find when we're not sharing together
> the fairest stretch of Earth ever warmed by the sun.
>
> /Tom
>
> On Sun, Jan 9, 2011 at 12:52 PM, Paul Robison <paulrobisonhome at yahoo.com
> >wrote:
>
> > in 2010 i met over 100 hikers;  and i found i got along well with all of
> > them
> > except one... who was all in all a good guy; just too stoned to make any
> > sense;
> > and in turn quite LOUD
> >
> > this listserv though seems to have a completely different demographic
> than
> > a lot
> > of the people i met;  or at least a more diverse one.  Ranging from
> people
> > who i
> > would likely feel like family around instantly... to those i honestly
> hope
> > i
> > never see.
> >
> > nothing against them personally,  the world is full of diverse people...
> > but my
> > question is;  how do you guys on the trail deal with the people you don't
> > get
> > along with ?  did anyone on here who has thru-hiked had a hard time
> finding
> > a
> > clique they fit in with?  do you think the experince forms bonds where
> > before
> > there likely would be none?
> >
> > have you guys found the internet personalities on here to be drastically
> > different than what you experienced on trail? ...i have.
> >
> > Do any of the vets have experience with this?  a lot of loud and
> outspoken
> > people on list;  but when we all show up in campo; it becomes magically
> > copacetic.
> >
> >
> > thanks for the input,
> > ~Paul
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Pct-L mailing list
> > Pct-L at backcountry.net
> > To unsubcribe, or change options visit:
> > http://mailman.backcountry.net/mailman/listinfo/pct-l
> >
> > List Archives:
> > http://mailman.backcountry.net/pipermail/pct-l/
> >
> _______________________________________________
> Pct-L mailing list
> Pct-L at backcountry.net
> To unsubcribe, or change options visit:
> http://mailman.backcountry.net/mailman/listinfo/pct-l
>
> List Archives:
> http://mailman.backcountry.net/pipermail/pct-l/
>