[pct-l] social interaction / dealing with disagreeable people...

[Tom Hudson]

I think the seeming anonymity of the Internet, combined with the lack of
immediacy, allows for folks to be far more outspoken and confrontational
than they would ever be in real life.  You know the cliché about waiting
overnight to send that inflammatory email in response to a work colleague
(or moreso to a distribution list)... It's because people, when their
fingers meet with the keyboard, find themselves suddenly able to express all
the things they wish they were ballsy or clever enough to say if they were
ever in conflict with someone in person.  As you stew over the most recent
slight, the wittiest, grittiest comeback is right at your fingertips.

Folks don't do that in real person (mostly) because folks, in public, want
to be liked, want to be popular.  Dominating is not as important as being
included.  Online, when separated by several minutes or hours, and hundreds
of miles, it'snot about being included.  The best way to win friends is by
winning the apparent competition.  In real life, on the trail, it's a
discovery of self that is only enriched by sharing it with others.  I think
the spirit of the trail is that of exeberant celebration and sometimes
painful hope.  The spirit of the Internet seems to have always been
contrariness.

I fall victim to it as much as the next guy/gal.  Instead of saying, "C'mon,
mate.  It doesn't have to be like that," and then extending a hand, it's
easier to say that the other person, in public and in front of everyone's
mutual peers, is behaving inapprioriately.  Even if politely stated, it's
not always the best etiquette.  Olive branches seem to be a rare commodity
in cyberspace.

So, to anyone *I* might have offended in such a way, I'll state now: sorry
'bout that.  I get kinda riled up when it seems my personal honor is on the
line.  But there's no need.  Doesn't matter if it's justified.  There are
better paths. They're just harder to find when we're not sharing together
the fairest stretch of Earth ever warmed by the sun.

/Tom

On Sun, Jan 9, 2011 at 12:52 PM, Paul Robison <paulrobisonhome at yahoo.com>wrote:

> in 2010 i met over 100 hikers;  and i found i got along well with all of
> them
> except one... who was all in all a good guy; just too stoned to make any
> sense;
> and in turn quite LOUD
>
> this listserv though seems to have a completely different demographic than
> a lot
> of the people i met;  or at least a more diverse one.  Ranging from people
> who i
> would likely feel like family around instantly... to those i honestly hope
> i
> never see.
>
> nothing against them personally,  the world is full of diverse people...
> but my
> question is;  how do you guys on the trail deal with the people you don't
> get
> along with ?  did anyone on here who has thru-hiked had a hard time finding
> a
> clique they fit in with?  do you think the experince forms bonds where
> before
> there likely would be none?
>
> have you guys found the internet personalities on here to be drastically
> different than what you experienced on trail? ...i have.
>
> Do any of the vets have experience with this?  a lot of loud and outspoken
> people on list;  but when we all show up in campo; it becomes magically
> copacetic.
>
>
> thanks for the input,
> ~Paul
>
>
>
>
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