[pct-l] Heavy Reads

[Lonetrail at aol.com (Lonetrail@aol.com)]

Euro  English  

The  European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will 
be the  official language of the European Union rather than German, which was 
the other  possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the  British Government conceded that English 
spelling had some room for improvement  and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan 
that would become known as  "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will  replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make 
the sivil servants jump with  joy.

The hard "c" will b! e dropped in  favour of "k". This should klear up 
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less  letter.

There will be growing publik  enthusiasm in the sekond year when the 
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with  "f". This will make words like fotograf 20%  
shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse  of the new spelling kan be expekted to 
reach the stage where more  komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the  removal of double letters which have always 
ben a deterent to akurate  speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl  mes of the silent "e" in the languag is 
disgrasful and it should go  away.

By the 4th yer people wil be  reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with 
"z" and "w" with  "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary  "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" 
and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a  reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or  difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu 
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a  united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al  be speking German like zey vunted in ze 
forst  plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on  to oza pepl