Re: [pct-l] Coming home?

["Bradley Cascagnette" <bcascagn@law.uoregon.edu>]

Finishing the PCT was the most difficult portion of the entire journey.
When I reached Mt. Laguna, My excitement towards being finished calmed, and
I realized that I had no desire to leave the trail and wished I could remain
outside and hiking.  If money would have allowed, I might have turned around
and kept going until the snow stopped me, but unfortunately it was not an
option.

The most frightening experience was 1 day after finishing the trail, 2200
miles of which I was largely alone, I found myself in the San Diego Airport
surrounded by all the chaos that I was able to push out of my life.  I felt
more alone here than I did throughout my entire summer when I was largely by
myself.  I guess 'by yourself' and alone are different things, but it was a
feeling that was more than a little difficult to deal with.

One week after I returned home, I resumed my same position of employment and
went about the same tasks that I did prior to hiking.  Everything was easy
for the first week of work, mostly because I was still excited about what I
had accomplished and excited to see the people I had missed.  Very quickly,
I realized how much I disliked the situation I was in and how unhappy I was
to find myself back in it.  It is not that I even disliked it before I left,
but I knew there was something better out there and I wanted it to be a
large part of my life.  I remained excited to see my friends and family, but
found myself slightly withdrawn, and really apathetic about many things.  It
is not to say I was in an utter state of depression, but I had to make an
effort to find things that used to be exciting, that way again.  Adjusting
back is as difficult, or more so than adjusting to life on the trail itself
and I really think it can be an overlooked part of long distance hiking.
Even if you are hiking solo, your adjustment to the trail is shared with
other thru-hikers who you will come to know very well.  But when you return
home, you are entirely alone to deal with your adjustment phase and there is
nobody who can understand how you are feeling.
    I had never felt this way regarding any of my life experiences, and
never imagined I would after hiking.  I had read things about returning, but
heeded little attention to them assuming they did not apply to me.  This
experience will apply to you and the adjustment will affect you in some
manner.  It might be similar to mine, but it may take on some manner
entirely different.

I would be interested to hear other's thoughts on finishing their hike.
Good thread Jeff.

Thinking about this again, is making me wish I was planning for my own hike
in the upcoming months.  Best of luck to everybody who is heading out this
year and I look forward to hearing your experiences when you return.


brad.



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