[pct-l] Pct-L Digest, Vol 70, Issue 8 Ruined

[tmjgame at comcast.net]

Karen- 



Your thoughts are right on and scripted very well.  I suggest a book  "Ruined".   It is fascinating to hear others speak of being changed, ruined and trying to figure out which world to live in. 



The trail does remarkable things for the soul.  I too am experiencing a depressed stat e and a yearning, no- a need, to get back out and walk. This only after a 520 mile section hike.  I cannot comprehend what it must feel like after completing 2650 or 3100 miles. But I will soon.    

Thanks for the great words.  I am inspired by all. 



Enduro 


Message: 5 
Date: Mon, 7 Oct 2013 15:51:37 -0700 (PDT) 
From: Karen White <kwhite483 at yahoo.com> 
Subject: [pct-l] The Impact of the Trail 
To: "pct-l at backcountry.net" <pct-l at backcountry.net> 
Message-ID: 
        <1381186297.16818.YahooMailNeo at web125301.mail.ne1.yahoo.com> 
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 

I usually don't chime in on discussions, but I can't let this one go by.? When I came back from my first AT hike in 1976, at the age of 28, I was a permanently changed person, both spiritually and in my outward perception of the world.? I felt good about myself because I knew I had accomplished something that few people even try.? But it was more than that.? I loved the simple life on the trail and wanted it to last forever.? I gave away most of my worldly possessions, continued to live on bread and peanut butter, and sought jobs within walking distance.??While my diet, jobs, and creature comforts have changed drastically over the years, I still live a relatively simple lifestyle and tend to shun technology.? For instance, I don't have a cell phone and can't understand why everyone else thinks I need one. 

Someone at the 2012 Kickoff party said long distance hiking ruins you.? He was absolutely right.? I used to think about backpacking all the time and yearned to return to the trail.? Nature was real and made sense to me.? Society was man-made and crazy.? I never thought I was setting out on a spiritual quest, but I always came back on a high.? Then depression would set in as I encountered conflicts in my daily life.? I felt liked an outcast, unable to communicate about the things that were important to me.? I married someone who didn't like?backpacking,?so I could never share with him the joys I had experienced in the wilderness.? My last long-distance hike was with my son in 2007, and I'm still waiting to see how it is going to affect him.? He says he is going to? hike the AT again someday. 

On each of my three long distance hikes, I felt like I passed back and forth between two incongruous worlds.? Just visiting towns along the way caused me to suffer culture shock.? I kept asking myself which world was real and which one was fantasy.? I still don't know the answer.? The more I sought balance in my life between the simple and the complex worlds, the more it eluded and frustrated me.? The brainstorms that I had?on the trail were dead ends back at home.? If only I could work six months and hike six months, but I could never figure it out.? Just too many responsibilities at home.? I feared 2007 might be my last hike, so I took over 6,000 pictures to help me remember the details.? Now when the old rocking chair gets me, I will still be able to relive the memories.? The AT may have ruined me, but?hiking it was the best thing I ever did.??