[pct-l] Solo Female - Leaving Boyfriend At Home

[River Malcolm]

Dear Kathi,

As a soon-to-be-retired marriage and family therapist, I enjoyed your
message a lot. One of my favorite quotes to use with couples is from
Dolly Parton -- "The secret to a good marriage is quality time apart!"

I am hoping to do some section hiking intermittently 2013 starting
late March at Campo, and hope/expect it will be strengthening for
my marriage -- as my partner's separate adventures have also been.

AND I understand that every individual and every partnership is
unique, just as every hiker is unique in making her own gear desisions. If
there is anything even more challenging and wonderful and beautiful
than a PCT hike-thru, it is co-creating a lasting committed relationship!!!

River


On Tue, Jan 22, at Jan 22  10:23, Kathi wrote:

> I am now married to the boyfriend who didn't/doesn't want to backpack 
> with me. All the time we've been together he has know that is important 
> to me and supported me in doing it. I have not thru-hiked the trail yet 
> but I know he's going to be okay with it when I do. Will he be sad that 
> I won't be around for a few months... I hope so!!! We will just keep 
> in-touch as much as possible and I got a SPOT that I carry so he can 
> track me. That has helped immensely because he was very worried for me 
> being out there on my own. Now he can log-in to the website and see I am 
> making forward progress. So either my SPOT is in a bear's stomach and 
> they are moving or I am moving. :-P I just started section hiking last 
> year because I don't see a thru happening anytime soon, I can tell you 
> one thing A LOT gets done around the house while I'm gone. :-)
> 
> This may not be a popular opinion and is a bit more of "counseling 
> speech" than trail talk, but I'll put it out there anyway. The real 
> thing to consider with a boyfriend, or even a spouse... if they aren't 
> going to support you in your dreams and you aren't going to support them 
> in theirs, then is this really the person for you? If you are planning 
> on one day marrying your boyfriend and he cannot handle this situation 
> then perhaps this isn't the person to go through life with. Having a 
> boyfriend/girlfriend is usually to discern who you want to go through 
> your life with. Being wildly in love is not enough. Fun and exciting 
> though. If your boyfriend wanted to fulfill a dream that you weren't 
> interested in doing with him, would you be supportive in letting him go 
> and do it and happily being his support at home? If the answer is yes, 
> and his answer is yes, then that support and commitment to each other 
> will help carry you through the tough times of no contact and missing 
> each other.
> 
> Okay... I'm off THAT soap box...
> 
> Happy planning and I hope it all works out for you.
> Puddles
> 
> On 1/21/13 7:13 PM, Abilene B. wrote:
>> Has anyone had experience with this? My boyfriend and I have been together about 2.5 years and we love each other very much. I have invited him to come along with me on a thru-hike but he just isn't as interested in it as I am. I completely understand and don't want to push him into something he doesn't want to do. However, I am going to do this with or without him but being away from him for 5-6 months is kind of scary. How do we stay connected? What have some of you done to make this easier?
>>  		 	   		
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