[pct-l] TEN REASON WHY "HIKER DUDES" ARE HAPPIER CAMPERS THAN "HIKER BABES

[Reinhold Metzger]

Bob, you have made a valid argument backed by scientific data.

I can see were women would have a hard time writing their name in the 
snow, nice and clean like men.

As far as the male's only real function  "REPRODUCTION"  is concerned, I 
have been trying to convince the girls for years...."Honey, I am only 
trying to perform my intended function".

But,....as far as the battery thing goes,.... you mean I can be replaced 
by a few batteries???
Tell me it ain't so...what about those whispers in my ear..."Reinhold I 
need you, I can't live without you"...were those just empty words?
I am shattered, I am devastated to realize that I can be replaced, just 
like that, by a handful of batteries.
What can batteries do that I can't do???

JMT Reinhold
Your devastated trail companion
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Wandering Bob wrote"

Dear Fellow Hikers, and JMT Reinhold:

The eminent trail philosopher, JMT Reinhold, has quantified TEN REASON 
WHY "HIKER DUDES" ARE HAPPIER CAMPERS THAN "HIKER BABES"

I have annotated items 7 and 10 - see ( ).

1. We never get pregnant
2. It does not matter if our legs are hairy
3. We never have strap problems
4. We can light a stove without starting a forest fire
5. Our underwear is warmer
6. We can do our nails with a pocket knife
7. We can pee without getting out of (our sleeping bag or) the tent on a 
rainy night
8. We don't need to carry birth control pills or tampons
9. We don't need to put our hair up in curlers
10. We can hike topless (Note - this reason becomes moot on National 
Hike Naked Day)

It has been my experience that item 7 is perhaps the only real advantage 
that nature gave the male over the female.
Everything else in the universe seems to favor the female.
And yes, they CAN write their name in the snow; it's just a lot messier 
for them and not as easy to read.
Greater upper body strength in the male doesn't hold water either (no 
pun intended).
Have you seen some of those female body builders or faced an 
angry/frightened female with a ball bat, 2x4, iron pipe, or some other 
weapon in her hands?
Some would argue that item 1 is also a realistic male advantage, until 
one considers that the male of the species - any species - is basically 
a waste of resources.
Their only real function is reproduction.
The rest of the time, they just consume resources and try to control 
everything.

Nature has been experimenting with asexual reproduction for Eons: binary 
fission in Protozoa and parthenogenesis in plants and some 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invertebrate> invertebrate animal species, 
such as <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_flea> water fleas, 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphid> aphids, 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nematodes> nematodes, some 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bee> bees, some 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phasmida> Phasmida, some 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorpion> scorpion species, 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasitic_wasp> parasitic wasps and in 
some <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vertebrate> vertebrates (e.g., some 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptile> reptiles, 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fish> fish, and very rarely 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bird> birds and 
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shark> sharks). This type of reproduction 
has been induced artificially in fish and amphibians

One or more self-replicating females could just as easily raise the next 
generation as could a heterosexual pair..and they get to keep those 
extra resources for themselves and their brood.
Toss in a lifetime supply of batteries and most human females could 
learn to live without males fairly quickly. Lesser species will take a 
generation or two to get over their "habit/dependency".

Respectfully submitted,
Wandering Bob, a hiker dude