[pct-l] Trail Times News - Vol 2

[Glen Winters]

True and accurate trail reporting, brought to you by Argentina and his side kick Real Old.

Merpas
April 10, 2010
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We captured some Merpas (Mexican Sherpas) just out of Warner springs resort. We managed a few miles and overnight before our merpas started to appear fidgeting and rapidly weaking. As the Merpa is accustomed to carrying just one or two gallon jugs of water, carrying our 30 lb packs was quite more then they expected. At one point near 3rd gate catch the 2 Merpas tried to run off with our gear, We quickly tackled them and decided catch and release was the best policy with our untrustworthy Merpas. We gave them one of our sets of maps to get them to a town and suggested greyhound as a better alternative as they were not prepared for carrying packs.


Warner Springs - Idlywild YoYo
April 11, 2010

Had a pleasant chat with Beer Grillis, near the guzzler, who has yet to find a beer he couldnt conquer. As their was significant snow on Fuller Ridge and incoming storms, Beer, has decidied to YoYo this area untill conditions improve.


Ankle Rolling Rocks
April 11, 2010

We discovered the Reason for the terminator earthquakes. They managed to dislodge miles and miles af ankle turning rocks, Just past Anza. This used to be prime hunting grounds for trail pirates, but with all the small sharp stones on the trail the trail pirates will no longer be able to sneak up on their thirsty victims and steal their super 4" self inflating pads and other assorted valuable gear. We will continue to work our sources so as to inform the herd of 2010 where pirate attacks are most likely to occur. Thanks to the terminator types a few miles of trails have been well protected.

Snow Times in idlywild
April 12, 2010

Choosing not to risk humiliating rescue on the justly feared Fuller Ridge, your intrepid reporters sat out the snow storm and enjoyed a restaurant crawl at this friendly town with a couple of throughs from Seattle. Next report will most likely be from Big Bear, unless you are following on the astral plane.

Advertizements

Merpas wanted: Able to carry 35 to 50 pounds at least 25 miles per day through sun, rain , hail and snow. Payment Kmart sleeping bag after the first 200 miles, Food and water as needed, 20 Pesos per day renemeration and we will assist in watching for La Migra (immigration).

Female reporter wanted: Trail Times News expanding coverage, female reporter needed where few men dare to go. Please send a 2 page resume, a brief sample of your work and a 3 day old hiker sock to prove your qualifications for this important position to Glen Winters general delivery, Big Bear, Ca. plaeas enclose sock in a sealed ziplock bag so we hikers may stay on good terms with the postal employees.

Stay tuned for future editions.
Argentina and Real Old reporting live, events how they occured, as they happen.
Also broadcasting on the astral plane in the colors of dayglo orange, baby blue, and pink.