[pct-l] Trail Humor

[Tarvalee at aol.com]

In a message dated 9/8/2007 10:13:06 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time, Hiker97  
writes:

Unsupported Reinhold writes:  DOWN   BOYS.......DOWN  BOYS.......I know the 
hiking season is almost over,  everybody is getting nervous and tensions are 
running high......where is all  the backpacking camaraderie and brotherly love?

Where are you  Switchback???......We need some comedy & trail humor to put 
everybody in a  better frame of mind. Give us your best stuff and you better 
make it  quick!!!
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Switchback  replies: Normally, I do not post hiking humor over at the PCT-L, 
but over  at PostHoler.com and my forum Switchback Unchained.  But as a public 
 service I offer the following.  I thank  you.
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The old backpacker, Rough & Ready, goes  hiking on the PCT with his dog, 
Snack  Bar. 

One day in camp, Snack Bar, starts chasing butterflies and  before long 
discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a mountain  lion heading 
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.  

Old Snack Bar thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some  bones 
on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones  
with his back to the approaching cat. 

Just as the lion is about to  leap Snack Bar exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was 
one delicious mountain lion! I  wonder if there are any more around here?" 

Hearing this, the young  lion halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of 
terror comes over him and he  slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the lion, 
"That was close! That old  backpacker dog nearly had me!"  

Meanwhile, a marmot who had been  watching the whole scene from a nearby 
rock, figures he can put this knowledge  to good use and trade it for protection 
from the lion. 

So off he goes,  but the old dog sees him heading after the lion with great 
speed, and figures  that something must be up. The marmot soon catches up with 
the mountain lion,  spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the 
lion. 

The  young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, marmot, 
hop on  my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" 

Now,  the old dog sees the lion coming with the marmot on his back and 
thinks, "What  am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with 
his back  to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when 
they get close  enough to hear, the old dog says, 

"Where's that darn marmot? I sent  him off an hour ago to bring me another 
mountain lion!"  

Moral of  this story....Don't mess with old backpackers or their dogs. Age 
and treachery  will always overcome youth and skill.  
  
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A trail babe was out hiking one day. After awhile  she stepped off the trail 
into the woods searching for the  "Ladies".  On  the way back to the trail, 
she found a frog in a  trap.
 
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant  you 3 
wishes."
 
The trail babe freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank  you, but I failed to 
mention that there was a condition to your wishes -  that whatever you wish 
for, your husband will get 10 times more or  better!"
 
The trail babe said, "That would be okay," and for her  first wish, she 
wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
 
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make  your 
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women  will flock to."
 
The trail babe replied, "That will be okay because I will  be the most 
beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."
 
So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
 
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.  Think 
of all the hiking trips she could take in exotic locations!
 
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the  world and 
he will be ten times richer than you."
 
The trail babe said, "That will be okay because what is  mine is his and what 
is his is mine."
 
So, KAZAM she's the richest trail babe in the world!
 
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd  like a 
mild heart attack."
 
Moral of the story: Trail babes are clever bitches. Don't  mess with us!






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