[pct-l] Ultra lite Turkey

[enyapjr at comcast.net]

Since the questions asked 'could' be PCT hiking related...

-Has anyone ever carried a fully cooked turkey on the trail?
Not too far, but it was a large Tom - so it probably weighed much more than your dog...
Why carry it (the turkey)? - check pct-l archives regarding "trail chickens"...  Let the turkey hike his own hike!

-Has anyone ever tried to hike while wearing turkeys instead of shoes?
No - never could catch the second one after putting the first one on...

-Does anyone know where I can get an ultra lite turkey?
I don't think any of the freeze-dry companies do whole turkeys (if they did, it would probably cost $250!)...

-Are there any dangerous turkeys on the trail?  If so, where?
Don't think so, but definitely watch for cranky partridge and dive-bombing falcons and hawks, etc. ...

-Will a turkey provide shade or can it be used as shelter in an emergency?
Depends how many feathers it is willing to share with you...

-Do turkeys in a tent attract bear?
Yes, especially if it's a Butterball...

-What is the proper procedure for glisading while riding a turkey?
Make sure the turkey doesn't catch or dig in one of its spurs - you'll flip out of control!...

-Will my turkey need a passport to get in to Canada?
No, but it will definitely need one to return to the USA - might be a bad omen for the turkey's role in the Manning 'celebration'...

-If you stuff a turkey with week-old hiker socks, will the turkey vaporize?
No, but it will definitely have a very distinctive 'gamey' taste - plus the many leftovers will go 'bad' much faster!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!  
Happy trails!!!
Jim
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