[pct-l] Kickoff Body Armor

[Hiker97 at aol.com]

_reinholdmetzger at cox.net_ (mailto:reinholdmetzger at cox.net)   writes:

You  know, maybe we should sell or rent full body armor at the kickoff.  With 
 those kind off bears and Saber Tooth mountain lions stalking hikers on the 
PCT  full body armor will sell like hot cakes.....
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Actually, I was thinking more along  the lines of a scam.  We could sell some 
cheap, but high profit protection  gear at the Kickoff.  By the time it 
fails, we are long gone.   We act like we are a simple humble hiker cottage 
industry that these  folks like to support and have sympathy for.  
 
Here what I think we should  sell:
1.  Large one fourth filled  bear spray bottles.
2.  Thin aluminum armor  painted to look like titanium.
3.  Bowie knives made out of  cheap soft steel, but nicely chromed.
4.  We convince people that  our $39.99 sling shots are a great deterrence.
5.  Hemp bear bagging rope  that can be smoked too, but rots in rain and sun.
6.  Silent dog type whistles  that only giant mutant bears and saber tooth 
mountain lions can hear.  The  whistles supposedly irritate them to make them go 
away.
7.  Magic powder to spread  around the campsite to ward off attacks.  This 
powder is nothing more than  Mrs. Dash meat tenderizer.
8.  Sell to hikers T-shirts  with big pictures of giant bears and mountain 
lions with the inscription, "Don't  Let This Brute Ruin Your Hike".
9.  We offer a triple your  money back guarantee.  But who cares, we will 
never have to pay  off.
 
Of course, everything is a scam and  a ploy and will only make the mutant 
bears and saber tooth mountain lions mad or  attract them to hikers.  We don't 
care.  We will have collected our  loot and headed to Vegas for copious amounts 
of partying, while hikers are  running around the trail hiding from bears and 
lions.  
 
Your soon to be rich hiking buddy,  Switchback



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