[pct-l] Seasoned Hiker & Transportation

[Wayne Kraft]

OK, Switchback, this is a new high in low.  The second joke in this  
message is a thinly veiled version of a well-known "deaf guy" joke.   
Rather than get all ticked off at your obvious insensitivity to the  
hearing impaired, I will simply responds as follows:

"Huh?  Whadyasay?"

No, but seriously.  Edith and Elmer were an aging hiking couple.   
Elmer was becoming concerned, however, that Edith might be losing her  
hearing, so he arranged to take Edith on a hike.  As they hiked  
along, Elmer intentionally fell behind about 50 feet and said Edith's  
name aloud.  Edith did not respond.  Concerned, Elmer moved to within  
40 feet of Edith and again, a little louder, he said "Edith!"  No  
response.  Quite concerned now, Elmer closed to within 20 feet and  
said, quite loudly now "Edith!!"  Still no response.  Really  
concerned now, Elmer moved within 10 feet of Edith and shouted  
"EDITH!"  Edith stopped and turned in the trail with an annoyed  
expression and said, "Elmer!  For the fourth time now, WHAT IS IT?"

Cleverly leading this post way off topic, I now present my all time  
favorite deaf guy joke.

Mafia mob boss Guido "Gambo" Gambini needed a mule to pick up  
payments from legitimate businesses as part of his protection  
racket.  Gambo was not too bright, having risen to the top through  
shear brutality, but he gathered about him some "smart guys" to  
advise him.  One smart guy suggested he hire a deaf-mute, Jimmy "The  
Mute" Brandino, to do the job.  The idea was that no one would  
suspect a lowly deaf-mute and standard police interrogation tactics  
wouldn't work with Jimmy because he communicated only in sign  
language.  Gambo hired Jimmy and everything went fine for a few  
months until Gambo's bookkeeper came in and informed him that the  
protection payments were coming up short and there was about $50,000  
missing from the deposits Jimmy was supposed to be making.  After  
murdering the bookkeeper (just to be on the safe side) Gambo had his  
henchmen bring Jimmy in for questioning and hired a sign language  
interpreter so he could communicate with Jimmy.

"Jimmy," Gambo said, "Dose protection payments youse supposed ta be  
collectin' for me are comin' up short.  I already know you skimmed  
off 50 grand. Now whaddya do wid it?"  The interpreter duly signed  
the question and then translated Jimmy's reply:
" i don't know what yer talkin' about, boss.  I dint skim no money  
off does payments."
At this point Gambo removed a 44 from a pocket inside his jacket and  
screwed the barrel tight into Jimmy's ear.  "Jimmy," Gambo said, "You  
unnerstan dis sign language?  Now, cough up da money or I'm gonna  
smear yer brains all over dat wall dere."  The interpreter signed  
this message to Jimmy.  Jimmy signed back to the interpreter, " OK,  
OK.  I give up.  The money's in a plastic bag in a hollowed out tree  
in Central Park just off Central Park West halfway between The Pool  
and The Great HIll.  The tree has a small piece of yellow tape  
fastened to a branch about six feet off the ground."
After a brief pause,  the interpreter turned to Gambo and said,  
"Jimmy says he doesn't know what you're talking about.  Further, he  
says you're a pitiful old lady and you aren't man enough to pull the  
trigger on that gun."

Finally, then there's the one about the man who read a new  
sociological study in the newspaper that proved that women speak  
twice as many words, on the average given day, as men do.  He told  
his wife about the study and asked her why she thought that was the  
case.  She thought about it for a few moments and then responded,  
"That's probably because women have to repeat everything they say."   
"What?"  her husband responded.

Say goodnight, Switchback.

Wayne

On Jul 6, 2006, at 5:26 AM, Hiker97 at aol.com wrote:

>
> A  senior hiker said to his eighty plus-year old hiking partner,  
> "So I hear
> you're  getting married.  Do you know her  well?"
>
> “Not  too well.”
>
> "Is  she good looking and can she cook?"
>
> "Naw,  not really."
>
> "Well  then, she must have lots of money."
>
> "Nope!  She is as poor as me; hiker  trash.”
>
> "Okay,  I know she is really GIB (good-in-bed)."
>
> "No,  she is like me.  Just some memories  of a vibrant youth.”
> “Why  in the world do you want to marry her then?"
>
> "Because she can still drive  and get me to the trailhead!"
> -------------------------------------
> Here  is an extra credit joke, since you have been good lately:
>
> Three seasoned  hikers were out hiking the PCT and pulling into a  
> trailtown
> for a Zero  Day.
> The  first hiker says, "Windy, isn't it?"
>
> The  second hiker says, "No, it's Thursday!"
>
> The third hiker says, "So am  I.  Let's go get a beer at the  saloon."
> Your hiking buddy, Switchback
> Trail Trash & Medical  Phenomena
>
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