[pct-l] The Southern Backpacker

[Hiker97 at aol.com (Hiker97@aol.com)]

I have lived in the South and loved  it.  I have had a child born there.  I 
consider myself southern in  some respects.  Southern male backpackers on the 
PCT are a little different  and like seasoned backpackers, it is good to know 
them a little better.  Top 30 things you'll never hear a southern hiker say on 
the PCT or in a  trail town:

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take  Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to  think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
26. We don't keep firearms in this  house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the  pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling's fake.
22. We're  vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit  and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another  dog.
18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag  of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
15. I just  couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
14. Trim the fat off that  steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that  truck are too big.
11. I've got it all on the C: drive.
10. Unsweetened  tea tastes better.
9. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
8.  I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
7. Checkmate.
6. She's too  young to be wearing a bikini.
5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we  haven't seen.
4. I don't have a favorite college team.
3. You All.
2.  Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
1. Nope, no more for me.  I'm driving.
 
Your hiking buddy, Switchback
Trail Fest Presenter & Bamboozler