[pct-l] Fw: Medical alert

[reinholdmetzger at cox.net (Reinhold Metzger)]

----- Original Message -----
From: "Reinhold Metzger" <reinholdmetzger@cox.net>
To: <pctl@mailman.backcountry.net>; "Deems" <losthiker@sisqtel.net>; "Monte
Dodge" <montedodge@msn.com>; "duckface 99" <duckface100@yahoo.com>;
<askurka@comcast.net>; <brianrobinson@sbcglobal.net>; <Hiker97@aol.com>;
"Rex Spaith" <adventuresierra@yahoo.com>; "John Stamstad"
<JOHN_STAMSTAD@patagonia.com>; "brad alan lewis" <balanlewis@hotmail.com>;
"Al Shaver" <alshaver2000@yahoo.com>
Cc: <Bighummel@aol.com>; <AsABat@4Jeffrey.net>; <Lonetrail@aol.com>; "Catra
Corbett-McNeely" <catrarunner@yahoo.com>; "maureen moran michael"
<mmoranmic@hotmail.com>; "Reinhold Metzger" <reinholdmetzger@cox.net>
Sent: Saturday, February 11, 2006 8:43 PM
Subject: Medical alert


> TO ALL MY FRIENDS.....(Backpacker fanatics, ski bums, camp ruffians, trail
> scoundrels,
> Echo 2/7 Grunts, and all other social misfits)
>      MAMA ALWAYS SAID, "IF YOU DON'T STOP DOING THAT, YOU'RE GOING TO KILL
> YOURSELF."
>     Four weeks ago, mama  almost was right. I took a nasty high speed
tumble
> while skiing Mammoth Mt. in the Sierra Nevada's and blew out my left
> shoulder - did some serious damage--three torn rotary cuff muscles, torn
> biceps muscle, broken rotary cup bone, & other tendon and nerve damage.
>     The good news after 4 hours on the table, they put me all together
> again.
>     The bad news--I'm held together with screws.
>     To add insult to injury, the day after the operation, a cute young
nurse
> walks in and says it's time for you to take a pee now,  and with her hot
> little hand holds my ding a ling  to a urine bottle and waits for me to
pee.
> I try and try and I try to no avail.  She smiles and says maybe you are a
> little nervous .  I just leave you alone and come back in 30 minutes.
> Thirty minutes later and still nothing. Maybe the morphine and nerve block
> have not worn off yet she says.  We'll try again in two hours.  To make a
> long story short, after several hours of failed attempts and several faile
d
> attempts by the cute nurse and the head nurse to install a catheter tube,
> I'm getting panicky.  NOW WHAT?  If I don't get to pee soon, I will be in
> serious trouble.  The head nurse makes a frantic call to the urology dept.
> Fifteen minutes later the urologist arrives and states that this is not
> unusual after major surgery but don't worry- I know what to do.  I've done
> this once before.  Oh, good so you have experience I respond with great
> relief.  So now I'm lying on the bed spread eagle under bright lights
fully
> exposed with three nurses staring intensely at you know what while the
> urologist is working the catheter up my ding a ling.  WHAT HUMILIATION.
But
> by this time I was in so much misery, I did not care anymore.
>     NOW THE QUESTION IS THIS---What if this happens on the trail, several
> days from civilization.  How do you deal with this?
> Maybe it's time to put a catheter in the first aid pack.
>     Well anyhow, I don't look too romantic right now,  all bandaged up and
a
> catheter and urine bag hanging from my ding a ling.
> Maybe that's why Karen (my wife) has not been purrrring into my ears
lately.
>     So if you guys see a hike on the trail with a catheter tube dragging
> behind him,  IT'S ME!!!!
>     Has anybody had any experience with a like shoulder injury.  The
doctors
> are sort of wishy washy about the full recovery potential.
>     Since the accident, my left arm and shoulder, especially the joints
seem
> to be very sensitive to cold and start hurting.
>     I hope that I don't have to carry extra cold weather gear on my hikes.
>     It would not be much of a problem on regular hikes, but it would
really
> mess up the ultra   light strategy on those high speed marathon treks.
>
>                 JMT Reinhold
>                 Your intravenously fed trail companion
>
>