[pct-l] Ultra light shoes

[sf <sfox@eskimo.com>]

Any item a lightweight hiker brings on a thruhike should have multiple
use. Therefore I propose filling the shoe soles with hydrogen instead of
helium. This makes the shoes an emergency fuel source. Plus hydrogen is
ever so slightly lighter.

A true Ray Way convert would propose filling the voids with a vacuum. How
you "fill" something with a vacuum I leave to the scientists and
engineers.  Anyway by my preliminary calculations this would save 12.3
nanograms, allowing the hiker to go 3.6 feet more per day, thus saving
approximately 1.7 hours along the 2700 mile route. A side effect of the
vacuum shoes is the AZDPCTKO could last another 1.7 hours, allowing the
hiker to eat three more plates of pasta. This food storage allows the
hiker to carry 2.75 lb less food on day 1, thus allowing the hiker to
travel an extra 1.3 miles, saving another 45 minutes. This means AZDPCTKO
could last 2.5 hours longer, allowing the hiker to eat five more plates of
pasta. This puts the hiker in severe stomach pain, putting him in the
hospital for 4 hours, losing a half-day, and negating all gains from the
vacuum shoes.

After careful analysis, I hereby withdraw my proposal for vacuum shoes.
Besides, if they sprung a leak, all the air would rush in and blow out my
alcohol stove.

- Professor Horatio M. Lardbucket


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Cc:            pct-l@edina.hack.net
From:          Jeffrey Olson <jjolson@uwyo.edu>
Date:          Tue, 20 Jun 2000 21:58:02 -0600
Subject:       Re: [pct-l] Long Distance Hiker Image
Content-type:  text/plain; charset=us-ascii

I had stopped at the Crater Lake Post Office for a package and had
spread my sundry goods a bit to the side of the post office to organize
and repack.  I was beat after a long day to get to the PO before
closing.  Rather than  hike up the very busy and very narrow road to the
rim, somewhere around a 1000' or more over a mile and a half, I decided
to hitchhike.  

I stood there for 10 minutes watching minivans with families slowly pull
out of the parking lot, giant RVs with oldsters looking balefully at me
ponderously pull themselves up the hill, when a park service pickup
stopped.  

I gleefully threw my pack into the bed and began to open the door to the
cab.  The ranger fellow was about 25 or so, skinny, with lank, collar
length brown hair, wearing rose/yellow tinted aviator glasses, the kind
that get darker in the light and lighter in the dark, and a disdainful
sneer on his face.  

He said, "whoa, what do you think you're doing?"  I asked if had stopped
to give me a ride.  He asked if I knew it was illegal to hitchhike in
the park.  I said no, I didn't, and apologized, closing the door as I
reached for my pack.  he told me to get in.  I shrugged my shoulders and
did so.  

He acted tough and started to lecture me.  I said how hard his job must
be, dealing with rowdies and tourists and disrespect all day.  He
grudgingly admmitted that while he loved working in the park, dealing
with people sometimes was hard.  I talked of an old friend who was head
jailer in yosemite valley, and how hard his job was.  

By the time we got to the store on the rim we were old friends.  As I
got out of the cab and thanked him, he tried to put on his "I don't take
no shit from rowdies" face, and I laughed, he laughed, and he drove
away...

Jeffrey Olson
Laramie, Wyoming...
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