Re: [pct-l] Re: pct-l-digest V1 #1013

["Karen Elder" <wild_mind@earthlink.net>]

From: <Bighummel@aol.com>
> ...most REI and other outdoor store salespeople
> with a grain of salt. They are mostly weekend
> hikers, at best, and sell mostly to weekend hikers.

At the outdoor stores around here, the salespeople seem to
be mainly climbers, equally uninformed about the issues of
backpacking.

Karen

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Cc:            Pct-L <pct-l@backcountry.net>
From:          Jeffrey Olson <jjolson@uwyo.edu>
Date:          Thu, 27 Jan 2000 15:00:26 -0800
Subject:       Re: [pct-l] success
Content-type:  text/plain; charset=us-ascii

Dear All:

The issue of success/failure was one I worked through on one of my section hikes,
planned from Ashland to Manning.   I'd originally planned to do the hike with my
ex-fiancee, a close friend still.  She couldn't do it and I headed out alone.

It was hot, my pack seemed heavy, my boots with only 100 miles on them were giving
me blisters, and I just plain wasn't having much fun.  10 days into the trip I'm
walking along, feeling tired, hot, hungry, and more than a little angry when I just
let go and started bawling.  I bawled for 10 minutes or so, great sobbing gulps and
full body shudders as I walked.  I blubbered the crying to a stop and marvelled at
the sudden lightness I felt.  Ten minutes later I was ecstatic, almost dancing down
the trail.

This continued, the ups and downs, the peaks and valleys, and I realized that I
really wasn't having much fun.  Two weeks after the first crying episode I decided
that I didn't want to hike to Manning anymore.  Five days later, while at Mt. Hood,
I decided I'd leave the trail at White Pass.

I'd started the Muir trail in 1971 at mt. Whitney (with 20 pounds of granola and 20
Mountain House dinners) after falling in love and left the trail at Taboose Pass,
driven off the trail and out of "The Trip" by my emotions.  In 1992 I'd headed out
from Red's Meadow after my fiancee decided she needed to be alone.  I didn't leave
the trail, but hiked the last day in a frenzy to get to civilization, hiking 23
miles, hitchhiking to Mammoth Lakes, and hiking from town up to the Lodge and my
car, motel and pizza.

This, my third section hike, I felt all the emotions, but didn't leave the trail
until I'd decided it was time.  I didn't want to be blown out of "The Trip" as
well.  I am still on the trip, and my section hikes are continuations of my
backpacking context of being on "The Trip."

Success and failure are terms that involve black and white thinking, for me at
least, and it's all so damn gray I can only say I keep reaching the next rung on my
own ladder.  Anything else involves soap operas involving other people's
expectations, my self-image, all vague confusions when "The Trip" is so real.

The spiritual dimension of my version of "The Trip" is what my thru-hiking has
allowed me to experience and develop.  One of my colleagues is doing her
dissertation and a cornerstone concept is that of "shame."  While this may be an
important descriptor for many of our experiences, for me it's a stepping stone to
being responsible for "The Trip."

Nuff said...

Jeffrey Olson
Laramie, WY

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