[pct-l] Couples Thru Hiking

[Jeffrey Olson]

I hiked a section over 30 days (Lassen to Hwy 50) with my fiancee in 
1992.  We had two sleeping bags we used as quilts - so that seems 
reasonable.  We carried only one filter (never use one now - iodine 
tablets are lighter).  I disliked filtering water so she did that while 
I set up the kitchen and bedroom.  We didn't use the tent except for 
nights rain threatened.

As I think about it, if you're going to bring only one quilt and one 
tent, then there is no need to double up on anything else.  Keep the 
weight down.  If one of you needs to leave the trail, it's likely both 
of you will.  Talk about this.

She'd never hiked with a pack before so I taught her everything she 
knew, and for that trip, we worked really well together.  I am a morning 
person and she was an afternoon person.

We carried each other emotionally through the ups and downs of the day.  
This deserves discussion before hitting the trail I think. Hiking 
styles, how to deal with emotionality - I learned in this trip not to 
try and "fix" her moods - something men tend to do. Good lesson anyway.

Being together 24/7 will likely be new, and being self-conscious of 
what's developing as a "couple" is paramount.  The coupling learning 
curve steepens and accelerates.  I remember being off-balance a lot of 
the time as stuff came up for me, and between us.  We'd agreed to marry, 
and didn't in the end, but not because of this trip.  We'd been together 
for eight months or so, living together for six. Planning for the trip - 
three months - and the trip extended the honeymoon period.

Perhaps the funniest experience was both of us getting explosive 
diahrrea for an evening.  Talk about another level of intimacy.

Her Dad was dying of cancer so there was a whole other dimension we 
dealt with along with the intense closeness.

This was pre-lightweight/ultralight days and our packs were way too heavy.

Generally we kept each other in sight, and I always brought up the 
rear.  I think an inReach is a better investment in weight than a 
radio.  If she got ahead and out of sight, she'd stop at every junction 
and wait for me - usually not more than five or 10 minutes.  That was a 
hard and fast rule.

It turns out she reads topo maps far better than me (this is way before 
phones/gps on the trail).  She became our navigator.  There were a bunch 
of places back then the trail cut through new swaths of logging - 
sometimes a half mile wide - and she was able to look at the map, 
compass and point to where the trail would pick up in the first.  
Invariable, she was right.  I was amazed, and my second guessing was 
almost always wrong.

Over time she started making suggestions/options and developed leader 
karma.  That was fine with me - I loved how she blossomed over the weeks.

We had mini-discussions at the first couple creek crossings about how to 
cross, and we ALWAYS crossed together.  We spent the first 10 days 
drinking multiple cups of coffee first thing in the morning and getting 
in long winded discussions so that we'd seldom leave camp before nine, 
sometimes after 10.  We limited coffee to one cup in the morning and 
chuckled when we throttled weaving our points of view.  The honeymoon.

Mostly, I learned I needed to be more self-aware and self-conscious than 
I had been before.  The 24/7 nature of hiking together accelerated 
coupling...

Jeff
Laramie, WY



On 9/10/2018 3:45 AM, John Papini wrote:
> Hello fellow PCT-L ers. After two years off (my first thru hike was in 2016) I am ready to return in 2019, this time with my fiancée. Hoping to get some advice from the group about couples hiking, in terms of habits on trail, setting expectations, gear choices, etc.
>
> So far:
>
> 1. We will be using a 2 person ee quilt, which she will carry. I will carry the tent.
>
> 2. Otherwise our gear will be separate. We will each carry our own water filters, food, stoves, etc.
>
> 3. If one of us wants to stop for a break or for the day, we’ll stop. The faster of us will accommodate the slower.
>
> What else? Should we look into some kind of two way radio?
>
> Any other advice?
>
> Thanks!
>
> Woodstock
>
>
> Sent from my iPhone - please excuse any typographical errors!
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