[pct-l] MORONS

[Mike Cunningham]

Reinhold, you rock. I don't care what Switchback says about you, you are the best.

I defer to you since I never held any records (Except vinyl) & have only been hiking since 1957.

hm
--------------------------------------------
On Sun, 12/15/13, Reinhold Metzger <reinholdmetzger at cox.net> wrote:

 Subject: [pct-l] MORONS
 To: pct-l at backcountry.net, "Hiker97 at aol.com" <Hiker97 at aol.com>
 Date: Sunday, December 15, 2013, 8:50 AM
 
 [pct-l] Testing
 
 I have been following the comments and recommendations on
 the
 "Testing" thread with great interest and have come to the
 following
 conclusion....MORONS....I am surrounded by MORONS.
 
 First of all, you guys, somehow, have failed to include
 "Switchback
 & Reinhold" on your list of "Hot Topics".
 I don't know about the guys, but Switchback & Reinhold
 are always
 "Hot Topics" with the girls.
 I don't really know why that is so...but that's just the way
 it is.
 It must be the mountain man magnetism that seems to,
 irresistibly,
 attract women to "hard-core mountain men".
 There are close to 100 years on the trail between Switchback
 and
 Reinhold.
 Heck,...I remember first standing on Mt. Whitney in 1968.
 That was after 4 years of ground pounding in the USMC
 Infantry
 and I know Switchback has a similar amount of time on the
 trail.
 
 So you see, there is a lot of "Hard-Core Mountain Man"
 magnetism
 attracting the girls.
 It is a burden Switchback & Reinhold have learned to
 live with.
 
 Second,...all this talk about how to poop and wipe with flat
 rocks
 and squirt bottles is for amateurs..."Hard-Core" mountain
 men wipe
 with cactus leaves resulting in a better scrubbing like
 cleaning.
 
 Third...forget about heating your Ramen with a Bazooka.
 I know all about Bazookas...I was a Bazooka Gunner in the
 USMC.
 The Bazooka will penetrate 11" of homogeneous steel and
 will
 pulverize your Ramen and blow your cooking pot to "smitter
 bits."
 
 I would suggest you carry a "Flame Thrower" instead.
 The Flame Thrower will not only heat up your Ramen instantly
 but
 instantly turn into pot roast any bear, mountain lion or
 other
 wild animal you may encounter on the trail.
 You would not need to carry any food or stove since the
 Flame
 Thrower will continuously provide pot roast for you.
 
 You may want to carry a 5 gallon fire extinguisher to
 extinguish
 any forest fires you may accidentally start.
 
 BTW...Switchback, if you should encounter him on the trail,
 will
 make excellent pot roast.
 Switchback aahh,...oohh...how do I say this?...has a rather
 sizable rear end to roast.
 
 He,he,he,he...cough,cough,cough...oxygen!!!...I need
 oxygen!!!
 
 Forgive me Switchback,...I could not help myself,...it's not
 my
 fault,...the "Devil" made me do it.
 
 JMT Reinhold
 He,he,he,...cough.cough,cough....
 -------------------------------
 
 Brick Wrote:
 Maybe it is time for a discussion about doing the PCT on a
 MBT
 carrying a gun with a dog using an alcohol stove and not
 using a
 bear canister and showering with water in caches."
 ---------------------
 Diarmaid wrote:
 Why does the dog have to use an alcohol stove?
 I would also rather carry a bazooka.
 ---------------------
 Brick wrote:
 It's hard for me to eat my Ramen after I heat it with a
 Bazooka.
 ---------------------
 Diarmaid wrote:
 Bazooka cooking makes for crispy ramen noodles. Very
 tasty...
 ---------------------
 Happy trucker wrote:
 There is a 6.5 lb Potato Cannon but it won't work with
 freeze
 dried spuds and is illegal in Ca.
 ---------------------
 Shroomer wrote:
 Man, you left out killing rattlesnakes, babies on the
 trail,
 boots vs running shoes vs no shoes, maps vs no maps and
 folks
 who can't read maps and just follow tracks ahead of them,
 cel
 phones vs no phones, meat eaters vs vegetarians vs vegans,
 horse
 and hiking pole damage and on and on.....
 ---------------------
 Nick wrote:
 don't forget:
   - drones
   - speed hiking
   - TP flowers
   - how to bury poop
   - sexist jokes
   - relevance of the book 'Wild'
   - pot on the trail
   - lack of enforcement for all rule breakers
   
 did I forget anything?
 ----------------------
 Sparks wrote:
 You guys did not include Nazi Lesbian Nuns on your list.
 
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