[pct-l] Hiker Priorities

[hiker97 at aol.com]

At dawn the telephone rings at Grizzly’s valley trailtown home.
 
 "Hello, Señor Grizzly?This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your backcountry log home estate."
 
 "Ah yes, Ernesto. Whatcan I do for you? Is there a problem?"
 
 "Um, I am just callingto advise you, Señor Grizzly, that your parrot, he is dead".
 
 "My parrot? Dead? Theone that won the international competition?"
 
 "Si, Señor, that's theone."
 
 "Damn! That's a pity!I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
 
"From eating the rotten meat, Señor Grizzly"
 
 "Rotten meat? Whowould feed him rotten meat?"
 
 "Nobody, Señor. He atethe meat of the dead horse."
 
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
 
 "Your thoroughbred,Señor Grizzly."
 
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
 
"Si, Señor Grizzly, he died from all that work pulling thewater cart."
 
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
 
 "The one we used toput out the fire, Señor."
 
 "Good lord! What fireare you talking about, man?"
 
 "The one at yourhouse, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
 
 *"What the hell? Areyou saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
 
"Yes, Señor Grizzly."
 
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candlefor?"
 
 *"For the funeral,Señor Grizzly."
 
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
 
"Your wife's, Señor Grizzly. She showed up very late onenight and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new super uberlight carbon fiber-titanium hiking poles.”
 
SILENCE.............................................
 

"Ernesto, if you broke thosepoles, you're in deep do-do!!”

 
Your obedient servant and trail rapscallion,
 
Switchback the Trail Pirate