[pct-l] TEN REASON WHY "HIKER DUDES" ARE HAPPIER CAMPERS THAN "HIKER BABES

[Bob Bankhead]

Dear Fellow Hikers, and JMT Reinhold:

 

The eminent trail philosopher, JMT Reinhold, has quantified TEN REASON WHY
"HIKER DUDES" ARE HAPPIER CAMPERS THAN "HIKER BABES" I have annotated items
7 and 10 - see ( ).

 

1.  We never get pregnant

2.  It does not matter if our legs are hairy

3.  We never have strap problems

4.  We can light a stove without starting a forest fire

5.  Our underwear is warmer

6.  We can do our nails with a pocket knife

7.  We can pee without getting out of (our sleeping bag or) the tent on a
rainy night

8.  We don't need to carry birth control pills or tampons

9.  We don't need to put our hair up in curlers

10. We can hike topless (Note - this reason becomes moot on National Hike
Naked Day)

 

 

It has been my experience that item 7 is perhaps the only real advantage
that nature gave the male over the female. Everything else in the universe
seems to favor the female. And yes, they CAN write their name in the snow;
it's just a lot messier for them and not as easy to read.

Greater upper body strength in the male doesn't hold water either (no pun
intended). Have you seen some of those female body builders or faced an
angry/frightened female with a ball bat, 2x4, iron pipe, or some other
weapon in her hands? 

Some would argue that item 1 is also a realistic male advantage, until one
considers that the male of the species - any species - is basically a waste
of resources. Their only real function is reproduction. The rest of the
time, they just consume resources and try to control everything.  

Nature has been experimenting with asexual reproduction for Eons: binary
fission in Protozoa and parthenogenesis in plants and some
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invertebrate> invertebrate animal species,
such as  <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_flea> water fleas,
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphid> aphids,
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nematodes> nematodes, some
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bee> bees, some
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phasmida> Phasmida, some
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorpion> scorpion species,
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasitic_wasp> parasitic wasps and in some
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vertebrate> vertebrates (e.g., some
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptile> reptiles,
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fish> fish, and very rarely
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bird> birds and
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shark> sharks). This type of reproduction has
been induced artificially in fish and amphibians

One or more self-replicating females could just as easily raise the next
generation as could a heterosexual pair..and they get to keep those extra
resources for themselves and their brood. Toss in a lifetime supply of
batteries and most human females could learn to live without males fairly
quickly. Lesser species will take a generation or two to get over their
"habit/dependency".

Respectfully submitted,

 

Wandering Bob, a hiker dude