[pct-l] History of Backpacking

[Reinhold Metzger]

To my hiking buddies, those who like history and those who don't know 
much about history.
Here is a condensed version (a refresher course for some)  on the 
history of backpacking.

Before addressing the history of backpacking one must first address the 
history of man, to see the parallels.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic 
hunters/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to 
the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of 
beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.
These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the 
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives

Once beer was invented it required grain and that was the beginning of 
agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle or aluminum can were invented yet.
So while early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be 
invented they just stayed close to the brewery.......that's how villages 
were formed.

Some men spend their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night 
while they were drinking beer.
This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live of 
the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the 
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing.
This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women and became known 
as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, 
the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of 
democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that the 
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives became to be symbolized by the largest, 
most powerful land animal, on earth....the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer 
white wine or imported bottled water.
They eat raw fish and like their beef well done.
Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have 
higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most social workers, personal attorneys, journalists, dreamers in 
Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to 
make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller.
They ear red meat and still provide for their women.
Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, 
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, 
engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, 
airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to 
work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing....they like to govern the producers 
and decide what to do with the production.
Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans.
That is why most the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were 
coming to America.
They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of 
trying to get more for nothing.

Early backpackers were robust hardcore men like Switchback and Reinhold 
that ventured into the wilderness with everything they needed, to 
survive anything Mother Nature would throw at them, carried in big wood 
or metal frame backpacks.
Then, similar to the American settlement, after the wilderness was tamed 
by the likes of Switchback and Reinhold, the liberals crept in.
The liberals thought it was not fair that only hardcore Mountain Men 
like Switchback and Reinhold should be able to venture into the 
wilderness because the weaker, less robust could not carry such heavy packs.
They thought it was not fair for the weaker, less robust to have to 
carry such heavy packs.
That was the beginning of the  "UL (ultra light) Revolution".
Also, unlike the conservative hikers who eat things with "horse power"  
like Beef Stroganoff, Beef Steak and Noodles, Lasagna with Meat Sauce, 
etc,....the liberals tend to eat things like Tofu, Sushi, Humus and like 
to filter their water......they say it is more civilized.
They also think that their way of hiking is the correct and civilized 
way and and like to criticize the conservatives way of hiking.

And there you have it folks...."The History of Backpacking"  as seen 
through the eyes of JMT Reinhold.

It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily 
respond to the above.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute 
truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other 
true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.

I think I will now sign off and retreat to the safety of my  "Lurker 
Bunker"  for I hear the distant thunder of the
"Heavy Artillery", aimed at me by those that don't believe in the 
absolute truth of this history lesson.

Hope to see you all on the trail someday.

JMT Reinhold