[pct-l] One Last Joke (again)

[abiegen at cox.net]

So Switchback is a thru-hiker through and through. Hiked most of the long trails, some more than once. Being a through hiker has cost him though, in terms of job opportunities and relationships. Keeping jobs just long enough to get some money for the next thru. Mattress testing, pool lapping, lap dancing, looting hiker booty and putting the odd damsel into distress just doesn't pay very much and you really can't afford to buy a house or have any permanent relationships. So Switchback lived at home with his mother, Talkback, his brother Laidback and his cat Kyphosis. He cared very deeply for them. On his thru hikes when he got to towns he would always call home to chat with his loved ones.

Starting out on another thru hike of the PCT, Switchback made his first stop at Lake Morena. After putting up his tarp and arranging his gear, consuming some donuts and setting a few traps for unsuspecting hikers, he called home. Laidback answered the phone. 

"So, how's it going?" Switchback asked.

His brother Laidback answered, "Kyphosis is dead."

Switchback went ballistic. "My favorite cat died and you just tell me like that? You knew I was going to be gone for five months. You knew I would be calling at each town I passed through. You could have broken it to me gently, darn it. The first time I called you could have said 'Kyphosis is on the roof and we can't get her down.' 

When I called from Mount Laguna you could have said that the fire department had come over but they were having trouble catching the cat on the roof. When I called from Warner Springs you could have said that the firemen caught Kyphosis but the cat fell and was slightly injured. When I called from Idyllwild You could have said that the cat was in the pet hospital, but the outlook still was good. When I called from Wrightwood you could have told me that the she took a turn for the worse but the best veterinary surgeons were working on her. When I called from Agua Dulce you could have told me that they tried their best but  Kyphosis died quietly in her sleep."

"You break things like this gently, you don't just blurt it out! " Switchback went on. " I don't know why you are so insensitive. I'm just fed up with you! I don't want to talk to you any more! Put Mom on the phone."

Laidback replied, "Mom's on the roof and we can't get her down."

TrailHacker
"*Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Comedy is know who to throw it at.*"
-Proverb