[pct-l] After Action Report - Kickoff Planning Meeting Expedition

[hiker97 at aol.com]

Yes, once again your intrepid PCT hero and trail raconteur, Switchback, has cheated death. This time on a road trip to the PCT Section A area. Meadow Ed and Crash were the other part of this expedition to the land of saber tooth mountain lions and the famous Clinton C. Clark tree (site #22) near Warner Springs.
 
I left Las Vegas in my trusty hybrid Prius listening to Hank Williams and Johnny Cash songs. The songs that all hard core backpackers listen to. My destination was the Union Train Station in San Diego to pick up Meadow Ed. Crash was driving from the Banning Pass area and would meet us at Warner Springs Resort.
 
After picking up Ed we headed east on Interstate 8 to Pine Valley for lunch at Major’s Dinner. I often eat here during the April Kickoff and even stay sometimes at the local motel with TV and remote. For some reason this reminds me of the old Groucho Marx line, "I would not be a member of a club that would have me as a member."
 
After meeting up with Crash at the resort, I get out my new Hennessy hammock. I string it up for the first time on some trees outside our cabins. I follow the instructions, but when I get in I notice that my rear is just touching the ground. This causes a great deal of merriment for Ed and Crash. I worm my way out and barely stand up. I reattach the line higher up the trees and then try again. This time it works perfectly. What luxury. No more hard cold ground for me. Later I head down to the hot 104 degree pool to lounge around for a while.
 
On Friday we head over to Barrel Springs to check out the trail and the springs. Everything looks fine. Then we drive east over to Borrego Springs to check things out. We swing back to Scissors Crossing and head up to Julian to the massive bird store. I call the long-suffering Mrs. Switchback for instructions on what to buy. I walk out later $100 lighter. Crash also has to presents to take home. He must have this marriage thing down pretty good, since he will be celebrating his 50th wedding anniversary this fall. This year is only my 39th wedding anniversary, so I consider myself a rookie and a novice. Before we leave we stop by a diner I know that has massive cinnamon rolls and buy several for each of us for snacks the next few days. Later we eat dinner at the resort chow hall, which is not too bad. A nice buffet.
 
On Saturday we have great breakfast buffet at the resort and head over to Lake Morena and Ed's planning meeting with the April Kickoff honchos. Crash and I drop Ed off and head to Campo to visit a museum. We had to be careful near the border area. There are many strange people around. Some were in uniforms and others seem to be always looking over their shoulders. We had to be on guard for the Coyotes in the area too. These are the people who trade in human traffic near the border area. Crash and I would be prime targets for them. When they went south to get another load of folks to bring north, they could shanghai us south. We could be forcefully taken and probably indenture into some pretty Mexican woman’s household as trophy servants, boy toys, and arm candy. I will leave it to your imagination how we would be abused and taken advantaged of.
 
Later Crash and I return to the Lake Morena and meeting. We sit in the back, so as to be less conspicuous. We have decided that anyone who says anything to us, we will answer, "No." We hear the attendees say things like, "We need someone to do that." "Who is going to do that?" "We need someone to be in-charge of that." These are scary musing and conversations. We carefully listen to every word and thought. We plan our dash to the pavilion emergency exit door behind us. We can imagine the attendees rushing to try to block our exit path. We can envision being water boarded until we break and agree to be a positive force at the Kickoff, instead of chaos and mischief making ruffians. We would probably have to rat out any other trail villains too.
 
Overall, the April Kickoff planning meeting was very peaceful and productive. This was a great disappointment to me. I was hoping for fighting and animosities. In other words, lots of entertainment. Things I could sink my teeth into and promote discord and maybe even physical violence. But it was not to be. It was like a love fest. I almost got sick. The Kickoff entry point will be just past the Lake Morena guard post this year and not down the park road. The dates are April 22-25. 
 
I brought a lot of books to read at night in my cabin. That was a lot of fun. I especially got a kick out of Glenn Beck's book Arguing with Idiots. Overall, a very enjoyable trip. Meadow Ed's 65th birthday is coming up in June, so the big PCT Walker Pass Food Ruck will be special this year. Crash and I thought may be we would get him a surprise birthday gift of a watch with an altimiter. Ed does not own a watch.
 
Faithfully recorded and reported.
Your obedient servant, Switchback the Trail Pirate