[pct-l] (no subject)

[hiker97 at aol.com]

Yes, once again your PCT intrepid hero and trail raconteur, Switchback, has cheated death once again ---- this time at the 2010 Lake Morena PCT Kickoff.  
 
I left Las Vegas at 6 AM on Wednesday to drive down to Warner Springs Resort.  The resort is at the end of Section A and 110 miles into the PCT.  There is only 2,500 miles to go.  The lady at the check-in desk gives me the mid week $70 per night rate.  Not bad at all.  I then head to my nice cabin to unpack and rest for a while after the long drive
 
Later I am at the golf course restaurant and meet GoSlowGoFar, Why Not, Potential Customer, Yogi, Warner Springs Monte, and Fuzzy Monkey for lunch.  Many other hikers came in during lunch and even two from New Zealand.  We had a great time talking about hiking, etc.  I was proud of myself for dodging Monte’s campaigning for volunteers work at the Kickoff.  Several at the lunch table "volunteer" to help with one thing or another at Lake Morena in the coming days.  Once again, Switchback escaped without a scratch.  My "Goof Off R Us" reputation is unblemished.
 
The weather was rainy and cold at Warner Springs.  The hikers must be miserable out on the trail.  I went back to my cabin after lunch and took a Meritorious Combat Nap.  I woke up refreshed and warm in my bed.  I decide to celebrate not being on the trail by taking a hot shower and then going over to the chow hall for dinner.  The dinner is too expensive and not that good.  This is typical for an out of the way place and the only game in town.  The resort is being sold back to the casino rich Indians this summer, so may be they will run a better food show on their sacred lands.
 
I sure feel sorry for everyone out on the trail.  Oh well, too bad.  I head over to the cantina to catch some NBA playoff action on the tube.  Overall, this is this is turning into my kind of PCT adventure.  Me safe and warm and others suffering cold and wet on the trail.
 
Thursday morning I wake up and everything is covered with SNOW!  This is at the low altitude of Warner Springs.  What a mess.  It is really coming down hard.  There has to be tons of snow higher up, especially in the Laguna Mountains.  Hikers out on the trail are buried in cold heavy snow.  It is a disaster of biblical proportions.  I hear limbs breaking outside my cabin from the weight of the snow.  I wonder if Lake Morena is covered in snow too, where the Kickoff starts today to Sunday.
 
Then it dawns on me I am a dope and super dumb.  I should have made reservations to stay at Julian tonight and not Warner Springs.  Julian is where I want to be.  This is why a lot of guys have women along on their trips.  Women are smarter than men and catch these things ------ even Terminator Cougar women.  I go down to the reservation counter to see if I can cancel tonight’s stay and high-tail it to Julian through the storm.  They say I can cancel and I head to Julian.  Once again the trail gods favor Switchback.
 
I pass through Sessions Crossing and see only one backpacker in the distance headed north.  At Julian I go to the Julian Coffee Shop for breakfast.  I also order a bunch of super large cinnamon rolls for Friday morning to take to the Kickoff.  After breakfast I head over to the bird store to pick up some items for the Long Suffering Mrs. Switchback. 
 
Then I go to Mom's Bakery and get a big box of freshly baked brownies.  I head out for Lake Morena to do a reconnaissance-in-force.  I go through the Mt. Laguna store route.  I see no hikers at very snowy Pioneer Mail Campground, where I would have left some brownies.  I continue on and stop at the Mt. Laguna store to sign the PCT register, so it is now an historical document.  
 
I arrive at rainy and cold Lake Morena and see the usual suspects at the tented entry station; Meadow Ed, the Kelty Kid, AsABat, Crash, Strider the Wagon Master, and others.  As I drive in I give a brownie to a hiker headed to the Lake Morena store.  At the park I give everyone some brownies as a peace offerings and a diversion. so I will be allowed into the park.  It works.  This is similar to how the old mountain men traded with the Indians, so they could hunt beaver in their territory.  Even in the modern age, some things do not change.  Once again, Switchback scams his way into the hiking world.
 
I start to wonder what mischief I can get into at this year's Kickoff.  That is always fun.  What scams and ploys can I accomplish?  May be I could start some rumors to scare the hikers.  I know.  A new Sierra snow reports that says you will not be able to enter the Sierras until July 15 ---- one month after Ray Day.  Afterwards, the run-off will turn streams into roaring rivers for another two weeks.  This will mean extreme danger for any traveler on the trail.  Or may be I could say there is a big fire in Section B from a meteor strike.  The trail is closed and the radiation levels will not go down until 2013.  You could have hitched to Banning Pass, but there was a meteor induced big earthquake up there and it is closed too.  In fact, Sections C, D, and E could be closed due to landsides.  Only Hiker Heaven survived.  Even meteors and earthquakes are afraid of L-Rod.
 
Speaking of L-Rod, I think I will advertise at the Kickoff about the hiker M&M’s I sent to Hiker Heaven.  Of course, L-Rod is a known and registered M&M junkie.  I wonder how many candies will make it into hiker hands for the ordeal of Section E.  If L-Rod is a little giddy when you arrive at Hiker Heaven, this will not be a good sign that your M&M inventory is in tack and has not been sacked by you know who.  
 
I leave my pals at cold and rainy Lake Morena and head back to my nice warm room at the bed and breakfast in Julian.  It always nice to have a warm cheerful room when it is cold and harsh outside.  This is especially true when you know the ones suffering out there.  It makes the room more inviting and homey.  Somehow it is more enjoyable and relaxing to stretch out on the large bed after a shower with the remote.  An abundance of soft pillows surround you.  Almost any way you turn you find another even more comfortable place to rest.  Yes, I feel real bad about not staying in the environmentally challenged park with my buds Thursday night.  Real bad.
 
On Friday morning I go over to the Julian Coffee Shop to eat breakfast and pick up my box of super monster size homemade cinnamon rolls --- I got the extra icing kind.  I arrive at the Kickoff entry station area and park.  I go around and hand out the rolls to the Kickoff workers.  Later I am standing over under the cook’s tent where I gave Manyon Ed and Crash some of the last rolls.   I have only one left.  All at once out of no where, Yogi is standing besides me.  She has a forlorn look on her face like she lost something important.  I instinctively say, like some mystery power has sway over me, "Would you like the last roll?"  She is gone in a flash with her trophy roll.  I then realize that I have been Yogi’d by Yogi.  No wonder she got that name.  It was unbelievable.  It happened so fast and cleanly.  How did she know there was only one roll left?  She is the only person I know who could thru-hiker the PCT without supplies.
 
I see a lot of old friends and meet new ones at site #22.  Sugar Momma greets me and gets another backpack pirate flag for her hike to Canada.  She gives me a “Hiker Trash” button for my tee shirt.  Very cool.  I set up my hammock frame, tables, and other items.  
 
The Super-Secrets seminar at 3 PM goes off great.  A nice crowd shows up and I have a flyer for everyone with lots of tips.  I go over the flyer point by point.  After I am done there is a round of applause.  That is always a good sign.  Of course, it could have been a round of applause because I was done.  
 
In any case at the Lair, I paint a lot shelter stakes and the Hiker Box of excess gear is a big hit.  Lots of hikers brought over their excess gear for others.  That is except AsABat.  He brings over a fish plaque that has a moving fish mounted and sings fish songs.  I yell at him as he runs away, 'Hey, you can’t do this!  What are you going to do leave your old couch next?"  
 
I walk around the vendor area to see if anything new has been created.  I see a few tents, but everything else is pretty standard.  I buy a hip belt pocket from Glen at the Gossamer Gear booth.  I was hoping Reinhold the Snow Bunny would try to crash the Kickoff and cause a disturbance.  But I did not see him.
 
One thing I do is go by the U.S. Forest Service tent.  There are about 8 rangers there in their dark military style green uniforms.  They have a display of bear canisters.  There is one that is super small and just under 2 pounds, but the BearVault Solo is much bigger at just over 2 pounds.  It is the one I use.  I tell them that it would easily to get from Kennedy Meadows to VVR with the super small one.  
 
An attractive ranger says she could not do that.  I tell her that it would be easy.  You just carry a small canister with food in it for ranger checks along the trail.  The rest is in your pack and you hang that from trees at night.  I say that in 40 years of keeping a clean campsite and cooking away from my campsite I have never had a problem.  She says I am lucky.
 
Also, I tell them that I go bear baiting as soon as I set up my camp.  I go out to find bears to harass.  They all had frowns on their faces and were gnashing their teeth.  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.  Once again, Switchback has scammed the rangers.  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.  I made their day and they made mine.  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...  This is too much fun.
 
Friday night I sleep out in my hammock and it is very nice.  The only issue is that it is super dewy in the park and water gets on everything.  I should have zipped the netting over the hammock.  That probably would have helped a lot.  
 
Saturday morning I head to Major’s Dinner for breakfast.  The morning newspaper has a nice article on the Kickoff at Lake Morena with a large color picture.  I bring it back to the park, so folks can see it.  Later back at the park I have a nice conversation with Llama Lady.  She is a school teacher and edits my Rhythm of the Trail writings.  This year I did not redo that like I usually do, so she had a year off.  Ha, ha.  I decide that little Bear Bait should be renamed Grizzly Bear Bait due to his growing up so much.  He is a future PCT thru-hiker.  After Grizzly Bear Bait, I will probably have to call him Kodiak Bear Bait.
 
Our beloved leader and PCT_L Moderator, Brick, stopped by the Pirate’s Lair with an attractive lady friend.  Brick and I talked about some of the unique posters on the PCT-L and have a good laugh.  Then we talk about posters being “moderated or being Switchbacked” and have a bigger laugh.  I offer his friend a copy of the Hiker Humor notebook on the table if she gives me her mailing address.  Not surprisingly, I could tell there was strong animal magnetism between me and his lady.  This is no ones fault.  Trail Pirates have a mountain man animal musk aroma and attraction scent that women find irresistible.  They have no defense.  I noticed Brick got her out of the Lair area before any addresses were exchanged or he found himself leaving the park later ----- alone!  Of course, the aroma and quick exit could have been because I had not showered in two days.
 
I pack up to leave the Kickoff around 2 PM on Saturday.  I have to work Monday and want to get back to Las Vegas, so I can rest up.  I stop at the Hampton Inn Suites just outside Barstow to R&R.  I have supper at a local diner that is really good and get 10% off for staying at the Hampton.  Nice. The drive back to Las Vegas is short on Sunday morning and I can arrive refreshed, but nap off and on all day anyway.  
 
Once again, Switchback has another successful expedition.  No scratches, no injuries, no worse for wear.  Harassment and mischief has been accomplished in high order.  Another adventure has been added to the lore of Switchback.  There were many other things to report, but space limits my report.
 
Respectfully submitted and accurately reported.
 
Your obedient servant, Sir Switchback of the Trail Pirate