[pct-l] After Action Report - Walker Pass

[Hiker97]

Yes, once again your pal, Switchback and Stinker the Trail Skunk, have cheated death once again.  This time on the Walker Pass Rescue Expedition to support the PCT thru hikers.  This expedition was necessary due to the big Food Ruck being canceled a week ago.  Images of a Donner Party fiasco was staring us in the face.

I arrived on Friday morning and immediately started to shuttle hikers to the campground, to Onyx and Lake Isabella.  Laundry was washed, resupplies were obtained and copious amounts of Mexican foods were consumed.  A gentle smoke could be seen drifting across the horizon as we headed back to the Walker Pass campground.  This was all that was left of these outposts of civilization from our visit and the complimentary trailtown sacking.  My hiker-babe magnet Toyota Prius hybrid vehicle was a big hit.  It was hard not to play favorites with all of the hot mountainwomen wanting to go on rides with me.  But their smiles would not deter me from my assigned duties to help thru hikers.

Meadow Ed once again put on a great show.  Thousands of hikers were rescued from a fate worse than death.  Some came down the trail running to the picnic table loaded with foods and drinks.  I witnessed this myself.  Wow.  Meadow Ed mentioned that trail life and human relations could be described as, "As the Trail Turns".  I thought that was pretty good.  

I forgot my sleeping bag and down jacket and was in serious trouble to survive the rigors of the Pass environment.  I needed some Trail Magic and soon.  Yosemite Katie gave me a nice cotton Indian blanket, so I would not freeze to death.  She is pretty neat and is a good role model for healthy eating.  She has lost a lot of weight in the several last years.  She had come up to Walker Pass to help out with the thru hikers.

JackaLope and family arrived with half of Cosco.  Their 10-month old son was dressed in pirate clothes, so he could learn from the expert how to sack trailtowns and ambush hikers along the trail.  Guess what?  They have a Toyota Prius too.  How sweet is that.  They drove their silver Prius to Walker Pass from Las Vegas like me.  They only live a few miles from me in Las Vegas.  Great minds think alike.  I will let her boy play with Stinker the Trail Skunk next time.

Meadow Mary was there too with her two loving long-mane dogs.  She obliviously is attracted to hairy things.  This explains her husband Billy Goat.  But come to think of it, Meadow Ed is some pretty strong competition in this area too, so Billy Goat better watch out. 

Friday night I had an attack for the Denny's American Slam breakfast.  So, I got up at 1:30 AM to go to Ridgecrest.  Unfortunately, I hit my car alarm button in my pocket as I got out of the car where I was sleeping.  My lights were on and alarm was on.  I woke up the whole camp.  Nice.  I made a quick exit down the mountain, but heard about it the next morning when I got back.  When I was down at Ridgecrest a cop pulled me over, since I do not have plates on the back of my new car yet (but I do have the temporary tags taped to the lower front window).  We talked about 45 minutes about police work, since I work for the police dept in Las Vegas.

By the way, at the Ridgecrest Denny's on an early Saturday morning (which was crowded), the women look at a lone male reading a newspaper and quietly eating his Slam like you are fresh meat.  I decided to ignore the stares and after breakfast I quickly head back up into the mountains where it was safer with the mutant saber tooth mountain lions and circling hiker eating giant condors.

Later, some hikers needed to go to Ridgecrest for a motel, etc.  This provided me a perfect opportunity to also get a nice mountainman spa pedicure too.  Just because I am a mountainman/trailtown sacker doe not mean I am uncivilized.  I showed off my pedicure when I arrived back at the Walker Pass campground.  Everyone was duly impressed and envious of this trail dandy extravagance. 

I took a case of water up to the Kelso Road and the PCT.  That was a very interesting side trip.  I did not see any hikers, but it was neat to see the trail up there.  I left the case of large bottles of water and taped my hiker card to the top of the case.  I spay painted "Trail Magic" on the top of the case.

I decided to leave Saturday afternoon to start back to Las Vegas.  I did not want to have a 5 hour drive back on Sunday and then have to go to work on Monday.  These things are important to us season hikers.  The group at the campground were very sad to see me leave and I could see them gnash their teeth with long frowns on their faces ---- they wanted my table and chairs to stay.

When I filled up my Prius in Las Vegas I got 44 MPG from Walker Pass.  That was at mostly 65 MPH, so it looks like even with the larger 17 inch wheels/tires I am getting about what the sticker said I would on the highway.  I am guessing Toyota rated the Prius at 55 MPH, which should be about 15% better MPG than at 65 MPH.

 By the way, if anyone says I took a lot of naps or has retouched pictures of me asleep on my lounger, it is a dirty rotten trick.  I worked myself ragged trying to help the hikers.  I was a dynamo of hiking helping activity.

Overall, the road trip was a lot of fun.  I had never been to the Walker Pass area before.  Remember what the thru hikers have learned on the trail --- don't major on the minors in life.  Life is too short.  

Respectfully submitted, Switchback and Stinker Trail Skunk