[pct-l] marriage and thru-hiking

[Rod Belshee]

Smart to ask!  A five month disappearance puts a large stress on a marriage, especially for the person at home who is not just lonely but also worried. My marriage of 31 years has held up through two thru-hikes (one she did a drive along, one not), but I have also seen marriages fail under the stress.

You must keep your priorities clear. In my case, I explicitly told my wife that the marriage was more important than a thru-hike and that she had the right and even obligation to call off my hike at any time if the stress was too high. She knew that I would immediately abort and come home, no regrets, no questions asked. I also planned a couple of week-long rendezvous mid-hike to break up the time. Still you have to be very careful to read the spouses body language and make sure she is not agreeing to something that she might not be able to handle.

My spouse had a full set of maps and itinerary, and served as my resupply person. That kept her very involved in the hike which I think helped. Of course I called her at every stop. I mailed back my digital photos cards for her to catalogue, and in areas without internet (more of issue on the CDT) I mailed handwritten journals for her to post at trailjournals. She knew what day I expected to reach a destination, and on what day to call SAR for each stop. Again, I think getting her highly involved helped. 

It also helped that she had complete faith in my outdoors skills. Even when she heard about nasty weather or such she didn't really worry too much. She knew that I'm not a big risk taker and would go avoid trouble, and also had the skills to handle it if needed. If your spouse is going to worry about your safety, then in my opinion that nixes the whole idea of a hike --I think it hugely inconsiderate to put a spouse through that kind of stress. YMMV.

As for the person on the trail, it is less difficult. You know you are safe, and your mind is busy. You can choose to hike with others if you are feeling lonely. But you can pretty much assume that the full two weeks before each rendezvous your mind is completely occupied with seeing the spouse again. It is not uncommon for married hikers to speed up during that stretch and end up waiting at the appointed destination for a day or two for the big arrival.

Steady



From: Brad Kueneman 
Sent: Thursday, February 14, 2008 9:59 AM
To: pct-l at backcountry.net 
Subject: [pct-l] (no subject)


Hi everyone, 

 

First post intro - I'm obviously a hiker, and love to bp! My typical trips are a week or two, longest was three, and I try to do a couple of trips each year. I'm planning on hiking the JMT, and the more I read about that, the more interest I have in reading journals of PCT thru-hikers, and that's what got me here!

 

The idea of a long hike intrigues me, but that would be new for me. so here's my question:

 

For those married hikers that leave their non-hiking spouses behind for a long thru-hike, how has that worked for you?

Have you found any particular difficulties or issues come up?

 

I am happily married, no kids, but have never left home / wife for several months at a time. just wondering if any of you found that difficult for you and/or your spouse, and if so, in what ways?

 

thanks!
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