[pct-l] Trail Humor.htm

[Reinhold Metzger]

SWITCHBACK  &  TARVALEE,
It worked but the  ''cat fighting''  is starting up again we need more
humor.

Two young hiker babes check into a hotel after 2 weeks on the trail.
Anxious to take a hot bath they undress and just as they are ready to get in
the
tubs they hear a knock on the door....who is it they ask?....blind man is
the response.
Without thinking they open the door and let the blind man in.......where do
you girls
want the blinds he asks?

JMT Reinhold

---------------------------------


> In a message dated 9/8/2007 10:13:06 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time, Hiker97
> writes:
>
> Unsupported Reinhold writes:  DOWN   BOYS.......DOWN  BOYS.......I know
the
> hiking season is almost over,  everybody is getting nervous and tensions
are
> running high......where is all  the backpacking camaraderie and brotherly
> love?
>
> Where are you  Switchback???......We need some comedy & trail humor to put
> everybody in a  better frame of mind. Give us your best stuff and you
better
> make it  quick!!!
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
> Switchback  replies: Normally, I do not post hiking humor over at the
PCT-L,
> but over  at PostHoler.com and my forum Switchback Unchained.  But as a
> public
>  service I offer the following.  I thank  you.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
> The old backpacker, Rough & Ready, goes  hiking on the PCT with his dog,
> Snack  Bar.
>
> One day in camp, Snack Bar, starts chasing butterflies and  before long
> discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a mountain  lion
> heading
> rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
>
> Old Snack Bar thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some
> bones
> on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones
> with his back to the approaching cat.
>
> Just as the lion is about to  leap Snack Bar exclaims loudly, "Boy, that
was
> one delicious mountain lion! I  wonder if there are any more around here?"
>
> Hearing this, the young  lion halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of
> terror comes over him and he  slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says
the
> lion,
> "That was close! That old  backpacker dog nearly had me!"
>
> Meanwhile, a marmot who had been  watching the whole scene from a nearby
> rock, figures he can put this knowledge  to good use and trade it for
> protection
> from the lion.
>
> So off he goes,  but the old dog sees him heading after the lion with
great
> speed, and figures  that something must be up. The marmot soon catches up
> with
> the mountain lion,  spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with
the
> lion.
>
> The  young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
marmot,
> hop on  my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
>
> Now,  the old dog sees the lion coming with the marmot on his back and
> thinks, "What  am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits
> down with
> his back  to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when
> they get close  enough to hear, the old dog says,
>
> "Where's that darn marmot? I sent  him off an hour ago to bring me another
> mountain lion!"
>
> Moral of  this story....Don't mess with old backpackers or their dogs. Age
> and treachery  will always overcome youth and skill.

-----------------------------------------------------------

> Tarvalee writes:
> A trail babe was out hiking one day. After awhile  she stepped off the
trail
> into the woods searching for the  "Ladies".  On  the way back to the
trail,
> she found a frog in a  trap.
>
> The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant  you
3
> wishes."
>
> The trail babe freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank  you, but I failed
> to
> mention that there was a condition to your wishes -  that whatever you
wish
> for, your husband will get 10 times more or  better!"
>
> The trail babe said, "That would be okay," and for her  first wish, she
> wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
>
> The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make  your
> husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women  will
> flock to."
>
> The trail babe replied, "That will be okay because I will  be the most
> beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."
>
> So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
>
> For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
Think
> of all the hiking trips she could take in exotic locations!
>
> The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the  world
> and
> he will be ten times richer than you."
>
> The trail babe said, "That will be okay because what is  mine is his and
> what
> is his is mine."
>
> So, KAZAM she's the richest trail babe in the world!
>
> The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd  like
a
> mild heart attack."
>
> Moral of the story: Trail babes are clever bitches. Don't  mess with us!