[pct-l] Ultra lite Turkey

[g l]

Hmmmmm, let's see........how can I wish everyone a FANTASTIC AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY without being accused of being off topic........
Ummmmm, here goes:

-Has anyone ever carried a fully cooked turkey on the trail?
-Has anyone ever tried to hike while wearing turkeys instead of shoes?
-Does anyone know where I can get an ultra lite turkey?
-Are there any dangerous turkeys on the trail?  If so, where?
-Will a turkey provide shade or can it be used as shelter in an emergency?
-Do turkeys in a tent attract bear?
-What is the proper procedure for glisading while riding a turkey?
-Will my turkey need a passport to get in to Canada?
-If you stuff a turkey with week-old hiker socks, will the turkey vaporize?

Just wondering.....Any help would be much appreciated.

Wheeew

       
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